I WANT TO HAVE MY BABY

OMG. Did I just say that out loud?

Jesus, Mary, Joseph...Someone PLEASE smack some sense into me.

But on another note I had another dream last night about this place I keep going back to. Each time the dream is different though...its like im in different parts of the same place. So far i have had 4 dreams...the first one and the one last night were the closest, but the one last night is how i found out they were ALL connected. The very first dream I started at this place...it was very gray and washed out like no one had been there...or like it had been sketched but not colored in...I wasnt sure what the place was i just knew it was a hallway (but I would find out in dream 3) any who. I was by myself crossing this really big bridge to get to a place where I could rent a boat or jet ski or something like it to cross the ocean path to get to a private island. I met my aunt there and we both got jetskis. After you rented your item, you had to wait infront of this really large gate that opend up to the most beautiful ocean you have ever seen to ride out on this massive wave...and you are headed into paradise. My aunt and I went riding off and got to our beach house. Everything was cool til this really nasty storm came. And we were racing it back to the gate. we turned in our jet skis had conversation with the guy at the store and then went out seprate ways. I went back over the bridge and she went somewhere else. end Dream 1.

Dream two I started in the same place, but on a dock. I was getting on a cruise ship. It was like a kiddie cruise...kinda like the disney cruise, but i really have been on a disney cruise and this one was way different. The boat was a hard yellow color with red and blue accents. It reminded me of children, but I never saw any. It also reminded me of Disney, but there were no mice or dogs. Just this big purple animal. Definitely not barney...idk anywho...I got on the boat and met my roommate. I had never seen her before in my life, but it was all good. We put our things away and explored the boat...then the boat started taking off. We went on deck to see what was going on and we saw a group of people (a mother and her kids) who were running to catch the boat. we wanted to help them so some kind of way we took over the boat and backed it up and we let them on only to find out they had no where to stay on the boat. so we gave them our room and we got off the boat. we waved good bye said our farewells to each other and went out seperate ways. I was heading back to that big bridge when i woke up. end dream 2

Dream 3 I started in the same place I started in dream one except now it was light and vibrant and full of color and kids. I could see the dock for the boat in dream 2 but i didnt go there. Instead i went into the hallways that mazed around me. each hall way had a variety of doors which held behind them toy shops and restaurants and places where kids could play. Again, it reminded me of disney (when i was cheering and we went for competition we stayed in the wide world of sports hotel and there is a small hallway there where there is an arcade, a store and a restaurant.) this hallway was very similar to that except it extended fully to hold maybe 3 shops and restaruants a couple arcades and other playrooms. every hallway was like this except one. the only difference in that one hallway was that all the stores on the right side of the hall didn't have a back wall. They all opened up to a beach. depending on which store you went into, you came out to different parts of the beach. I went out of the store that was furthest to the right and met my friends there. This time people I actually knew. We sat under a cabana and had drinks and stuff. then this guy I knew came along and said he had something to show me. He was with a group of people that i recognized but didnt know. But I left with them any way and he showed me a secret beach...far enough so you could still see everyone but not be bothered by their kkids. Then we climed this little hill and came to a mini lake. It was big but not too big. standing on top of the hill I looked to my left and could see where i had just been. looking to my right I saw that big bridge from dream one and the end of dream 2. I went down the opposite side of the hill and everyone jumped into the water. I was scared because I couldnt see the bottom. I was afraid something lived there and would get me. Thing is, something did live there. And everyone else knew it except me. I finally got into the water and swam around for a bit with the guy i knew, not realizing everyone else had gotten out of the water. whatever lived in the water had shown up...i saw it out of the corner of my eye and screamed. I blacked out and woke up on the side of the hill nothing was wrong...the creature was...well i dont know what it was, i couldnt see it. I just saw darkness...but it was friendly. like it wanted us there. I remember touching it then i was picked up from above by something...i still dunno what...and i was dropped back at the beach with my friends. It was like I never left. I walked back into a store bought a mermaid doll...idk why but i did. then i went into the hallway and walked back towards the center of the maze of hallways and woke up. end dream 3

Dream 4 was last night. i was with my family. There were specific people there...my Aunt Penny ( who was also in dream one) My cousin amber. My grandfather. My mother. my cousin Matthew. and my son. Yes, in this dream I had a son. He couldnt have been more than 1 y.o. he was the most beautiful baby boy i had ever seen. and as vivid as all these dreams have been this one was the strongest because I love that baby. I was a very proud mother and right now i can feel all the love i had for that baby in my dream....its bringing me to tears...
breathe...
Back to the dream. My family and I were headed to the big bridge again but this time we took another route. we were travelling through tall grass and pretty flowers with butterflies an bees and all of nature around us. (when I tell you this dream felt real, i mean it felt sooo real.) we got to a little foot bridge that we had to cross. and I dont remember how we crossed it...i remember it was small and looked old and we alot of stuff with us. but i gave all my stuff to my mother and i held my baby close to me and i just talked to him and he just smiled at me all the way across the bridge. once we crossed the little foot bridge, i could see the boat shop from dream one...but we were behind it. so we went around front and got ourselves together. I went inside to talk to the man about boats. he remembered me from the first time i came in. I told him i had my family and he offered me a deal on a boat but said we would have to paddle. I liked that idea...soe we got everything together and went to find the boat. I remember being disappointed because it was like 3 planks that two people each could sit on. my mother my baby and I took the middle plank. My cousin amber and my grandfather were to my left and my aunt and cousin matther were to my right. when we took our 'plankset' to the water there was a connecting piece already in the water waiting for us. it was a neat little boat...though very different. we all got on. and for some reason instead of me getting on the boat, i got behind it into the water. i was holding onto the boat with my left had and had my baby in my right arm. We were waiting on the big gate to open and just having fun splashing around in the water. suddenly the gate opened and my baby boy got sooo excited! he knew we were gonna get to ride the wave...and we did. and it was so much fun. towards the end of the wave my baby and I went under water and we were laughing and smiling at each other. the water was so clear and pretty the sun was shining bright everything was okay. then my mother reached into the water and took my baby from me. when i raised my head out of the water everything changed. behind me I could see the water and in front of me was a city. the city was covered in darkness. like something bad had happened. I got on a motorcycle and rode to the property that i recognized where the beach houses were. by this time it was raining. I was trying to talk to the people at the front gate, but they told me I had to wait. My family was there but they hadnt been assigned to a room yet. i got back on the bike and rode around the city trying to figure out what happend. I felt so sad and alone. I wanted my family...my baby. I met this guy who took me back to the resort and showed me his mansion and all these elaborate things, but they didnt matter much to me...i just wanted to find my family. I wanted my baby so bad it hurt. and i woke up.

It was the only dream i wasnt headed back to where I started. It was the only dream where I wasn't happy in the end. It was the dream that made me put all of the previous dreams together. it was the dream that felt the realest...and the one i have the most questions about...and i dont feel like its over. I want to go back to sleep. I want to finish the dream...I want to see my baby again.

My baby reminded me of someone. A guy I know... I dont know why my baby reminded me of him...but it didnt matter, I was just happy to have my baby.

and now im just up in a fuss...

Peace Love n Blessings yall

I hope I figure this one out soon.